One of the things I wanted her to do when the third lie happened was to let go of him. Remove him from her life. She agreed that she should do so.
She didn’t call him, she didn’t text him, she didn’t see him… she only saw him at work when she was working with him. (Not sure if i’ve mentioned before that they work together).
But she missed him, and she showed it.
While she was taking these “steps” to remove him from her life, behind the scenes she was still doing everything possible to hold onto whatever last bits of him she could.
Now this stuff may seem small… but it adds up to be exactly what she needs to hold onto him.
She continued to poke him on Facebook on a regular basis. She even admitted this was done as a “Hey. I’m still here.” to him. A reminder that she exists, and she still cares for him (as a friend).
I told her that that isn’t cool, and that letting go of someone means LETTING GO. How is she supposed to move on with me if she can’t even let go of him?
Does she not care about my future with her?
She “understood” that I wanted her to let go of him completely and that meant stopping side communication with him and “reaching out” to him to try and remain in contact indirectly. But, instead of truly taking what I said to heart she just stopped poking him and found another outlet. (More on this after a quick detour)
It had become increasingly obvious over the last couple weeks that he truly did have feelings for her. The volume of posts about missing and loving someone on his Tumblr skyrocketed, so I called him out on it and told him to lay off. He didn’t listen to me and instead made empty threats. My girlfriend agreed to talk to him and he admitted to her that a lot of the posts were indeed about her… and I finally got her to admit that she thinks he might have had feelings for her too.
She recently got a new iPhone, so she began to fill it with all her social networking apps.
Instagram, DrawSomething, Words with Friends, Game Center…
And she instantly added him on every single one of those.
So I called her out on it. How does continuing to play social networking games while following him on things like Instagram and Tumblr qualify as “letting go” of someone?
She is STILL trying to hold onto him in whatever way she can.
I got her to finally confess that since she can’t have a real friendship with him, she wants to have a sort of superficial one through little games and apps so they can stay in touch.
What the hell?! They’re just iPhone apps, I know, it’s dumb… but that’s not the point.
The point is that she promised to let go of him and remove him from her life and she’s done the exact opposite of that!
I’m trying to encourage her to make her OWN decision to move on and remove him from any apps that may tempt her to remain in-contact with him… but so far she’s done nothing. If it comes down to it I may have to force her to move on… which I don’t want to do. But if she refuses to let go of him I don’t know what to do anymore.